It's Official

It’s January 1, 2009 – 5:00 a.m and I just started my New Year listening to the heart beat of my loved one. I glanced at my best friend and she smiled, beckoning to me in a silent question of whether I was listening to his heart beat or not. I nodded yes and smiled, I am not sure whether I smiled or not – am sure it was a huge grin on my face. It wasn’t a racing heart beat, yet it has this rhythm that reminded me of a sensational mix of salsa and tango, or maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks on me.

The heart … it’s an organ – pumps blood and circulates it around the body. Then again; this simple “organ” seems to tingle butterflies in my stomach. I heard a heart beat today – the heart beat of the most special person in my life.

My thoughts are distracted and I haven’t slept in 48 hours, thus, the lack of continuous thoughts in my writings tonight, or maybe this dawn. The past twelve hours I’ve been going crazy, stressing out about dinner, about him, about me, and every little detail worth stressing about, yet by mid afternoon a wash of relief came over me; maybe because he decided to show up today!! This is a changing point to everything I’ve written about this past month, the beginning of my journey in Wadi Rum, both of them, the one two years ago which is plain ass ridiculous and the most recent one which is obviously a turning point in my life.

Midnight strikes as we were playing scrabble, seriously we are sitting in the den, we glanced at each other faintly smiling and wishing each other a happy new year, after all: the end of 2008 was a disaster with the massacre happening in the Gaza Strip, but to me, it was different, I condemn the war of terror hitting my beloved Palestine, yet, the month is officially over and I knew it: WE’RE OFFICIAL!!

Seriously I feel like a firkin teenager, listening to his heart beat, looking at his from the corner of my eye, smiling like an idiot and mostly hugging him whenever I get the chance to get my arms around him. Welcome to my little bubble, welcome to 2009, change is something that I needed in my life and for the first time in 22 years I feel that I started a new year with a positive change, with a person that’s worth it.

It’s 2009: a time for love, career and mostly a time for me to be selfish and to start putting my self a head of people, not because my friends don’t matter, but because of the man sitting next to me occasionally trying to grab a glimpse of what I’m writing matters, because he’s worth it, and because he made my life worth smiling at.


It’s Official and I’m grinning like an idiot, grinning so bad that I have no clue for the first time in my life how to end what I just writing…